Instead of mom, she’s gonna call me Point B, because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me.

And I’m gonna paint the solar system on the back of her hands, so that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say “oh I know that like the back of my hand”

She’s gonna learn that this life, will hit you, HARD, in the face, wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

There is hurt. Here. That cannot be fixed by band aids or poetry so the first time she realises that wonder woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself.

Cuz no matter how wide you stretch your fingers your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal believe me I’ve tried.

“And baby” I’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that I know that trick you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him.”

But I know that she will anyway so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby cuz there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix.

Okay there’s a few heartbreaks that chocolate can’t fix... but that’s what the rain boots are for because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat. To look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind because that’s the way my mom taught me.

That there’ll be days like this there’ll be days like this my momma said when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you. Cuz there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shore line no matter how many times it’s sent away.

You will put the wind in a win some lose some you will put the star in starting over and over and no matter how many landmines erupt in a minute be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes on a scale from one to over trusting I am pretty fucking naive but I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar it can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick out your tongue and taste it.

“Baby” I’ll tell her “remember your momma is a worrier but your papa is a warrior and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more. Remember that good things come in threes and... So do bad things... and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing and when they finally hand you heartbreak slip hatred and war under your doorstep and hand you handouts on street corners of cynicism and defeat you tell them that they really outta meet your mother.”

THPS2

How many of you played Tony Hawks Pro Skater 2 on the Playstation? I was addicted to the game.. in fact, I still play it, on my old school PS2, on a regular basis. I just love the thing. So, when I saw it in the appstore, I swear I wee'd myself a bit with excitement.

I don't know about you though, but my experiences of old school games on the iphone haven't exactly been great. I bought Sonic a while back - proper old school, proper hard. Impossible to get past the third level. Golden Axe - again, impossible.

But I can't lie, you have to get Tony Hawks! Takes a few minutes to get the hang of, but once you do, you're in for a whole world of enjoyment. As far as I can tell, it's got pretty much all of the level goals from the original as well as the hidden areas.

Levels include: The Hanger, School II Southern Cali, Marseille France, NY City New York, Venice Beach California, Skatestreet Ventura, Philadelphia Pennsylvania, and The Bullring Mexico. Not bad for £2.99.

The Downside though... the soundtrack. Some numbskull decided to give it a new one. So I advise you do what I do: get your hands on the original, play it, mute the game music.. SORTED!

How often do you actually read the terms and conditions? I know I sure as hell don't. I recently read a story about British firm GameStation, who as a genius experiment, added a the 'immortal soul clause' to their terms and conditions on their website. Any customer who signed up prior to making a purchase in April 2010, had to agree to the terms and conditions.. as many other sites require users to. Had customers actually read the page, they would have read the following:


"By placing an order via this website on the first day of the fourth month of the year 2010 Anno Domini, you agree to grant Us a non transferable option to claim, for now and for ever more, your immortal soul. Should We wish to exercise this option, you agree to surrender your immortal soul, and any claim you may have on it, within 5 (five) working days of receiving written notification from gamesation.co.uk or one of its duly authorised minions."

GameStation's form also points out that "we reserve the right to serve such notice in 6 (six) foot high letters of fire, however we can accept no liability for any loss or damage caused by such an act. If you a) do not believe you have an immortal soul, b) have already given it to another party, or c) do not wish to grant Us such a license, please click the link below to nullify this sub-clause and proceed with your transaction."

While the T&C's where updated on April Fools as a prank, they also did so to highlight a very serious point: Few if any, read the Terms and Conditions, and companies are free to insert whatever the hell they want into their documents. 

Shoppers where in fact given an 'opt out' tick box, which would have rewarded them with a £5 voucher, but very few actually did this.. in fact, some figures are showing that more than 7,500 customers fell for the ploy. Gamestation concluded from the figures that 88% of people do not read T&Cs before making a purchase.


GameStation executives are now assuring all customers that they are not enforcing the Immortal Soul Clause and will be contacting customers via email with a notice of nullification.. Now the question I want to ask - how much would you sell your soul for?

Rob Green.. Now that's one spill the Yanks won't be upset about!

The name on everyone's lips this weekend - Rob Green. Poor guy. I think I speak for all Goalkeepers, regardless of sport and say that I kinda felt for him.. and could think of a few of my own howlers from over the years. For those of you are thinking 'eh?' it all happened during the first match of the 2010 World Cup for England and the USA. What should have been an easy save turned into Green's worst nightmare, making him the most hated player since Beckham got sent off in the Argentina game in the 1998 World Cup.



I'm a Hockey Goalkeeper. Real hockey - Field hockey, not this Ice Business. Now, whilst goalkeeping, during a match at least, is not the most physically demanding position on the pitch, it sure as hell is the most mentally demanding. Try standing, in a restricted area for 70 - 90 minutes. You may never even touch the ball, and yet should you lose concentration for even a second, your whole game can be thrown out of whack. Your striker makes a mistake, they can recover. They lose the ball..they run back to get it, or someone else behind them does. YOU drop the ball, YOU mis-kick it and oh, look, a goal! Sure, it had to go past 10 other players to make it to the keeper, but try telling the keeper that. Then try and deal with the mental pressure of knowing that you've got to do something special the next time the ball comes your way.

Unfortunately, as players get older and the intelligence they play with develops, they won't try something different next time they sprint it down to your end again. They'll smack the ball in the exact same way, in the exact same place. And what have you done for the last 15minutes? Only replay your last cock up over.. and over.. and overrr again in your mind. You're expected to save it, but unfortunately, your subconscious gets the better of you and the ball goes in, again.

I think the worst thing is the fact that his team mates will also have lost confidence in him, this was evident after the goal went in.

My biggest gripe however, is the fact that England did not play their best game. Sure, Green cocked up. Sure, he could have saved it. But it's not much good when your 10 team mates can't get the ball up to the other end and have a decent crack at another goal. It's different if such a goal goes in and there's minutes left - then you've really messed up. But when you've still got more than a half to play, and you're against (no offence) the US, a 1-1 draw is pretty shit by England's standards.

So Rob, I've been there dude. I feel your pain. Let's hope you can do what we goalies know you can do - get back on that pitch and show em what we're made of.

I'm going for a run...

 

Some of you may or may not know that our Granny, Joan Duff was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease (MND) in September 2008 and died last March. Not your typical 70 year old, she was the first person I ever knew to own a mobile phone, use the internet and right up until her health started to deteriorate, was still working for the Wycliffe N. Ireland team with her Husband Bob. In 1996 she ventured out to a clinic in Ghana where she used her nursing knowledge to lend a hand and give advice to the village people and help provide medications which on their own they could not afford. Throughout the next 13 years she was never without her crate of homemade marmalade in the boot of the car whose proceeds paid for the salaries of the nurses, and for the medicines for cataract operations. Granny and Granddad ventured out to Ghana as often as they could, at times up to seven months straight, right up until 2007, only one year before Granny was diagnosed with MND. The child in the picture with Granny is ‘Precious Joan’, named after her by one of the cooks in the Guest House Bob and Joan hosted.

Myself and my two sisters have decided that this year we will run the 10K road race in Lisburn in aid of Motor Neurone Disease Association Northern Ireland. We have set up a just giving page for anyone who may wish to donate; all money will go straight to the charity to aid research and to help those with MND and their families.
An absolute inspiration and someone who influenced everybody she met, this running event is very poignant for the three of us.

Above: Granny and Precious Joan
Below: My younger sister Pauline, Older Sister Sharon, and me.

errr...

It's been a verrrry long time since I posted here. I had great intentions... they all fell flat on their faces. It's not as if I'm going to resurrect it or anything. I just need to tilt my chin up from my hanging in shame and make it look like I'm making an effort.

What I will post though, is the company I am working for, Backup Direct, have recently sponsored one of the Lions of Bath.. Lions - a public art event inspired by the successful King Bladud's Pigs 2008. Named 'Killerbyte' we were lucky to have acclaimed local artist Simon Spilsbury to produce and paint the design on our lion, which will be displayed at Bath Spa Railway Station for the next three months.

Check it out.. AWESOME! 


Simon Spilsbury's Lion of Bath from Simon Spilsbury on Vimeo.

A. MAZ. ING

Timescapes Timelapse: Mountain Light from Tom @ Timescapes on Vimeo.